With Baby number 5 due to arrive within the next week or three, I have been thinking about how each of our children’s births went and I have decided to share it with others. I know for a lot of pregnant women who are preparing for birth want to read and get as much information as possible before the big day to mentally prepare. So this is why I am adding my experiences to the vast array of birth stories and vlogs out there.
March 17, 2018 was the day that Josh and I FINALLY said our “I do’s”! This is also 6 years to day of our first date together. In preparation for our wedding we had to attend a Marriage Prep Course so we could get married in one of our beautiful local churches. During that day was when I found out what birth control really did and we decided that we are not okay with that, so I stopped taking it. We loosely follow the Natural Family Planning method. I consider myself lucky in that fact that my periods are regular so I track them using the FitBit app and it tells me my fertility date range for the month. I have to say it’s pretty accurate! We found out that we were pregnant in October of 2018 and Baby #3 was due around June 21, 2019.
Joseph’s pregnancy was great! I was only sick for the first trimester and I believe it was mostly nausea than actually being physically sick. After I was three months pregnant, it was clear sailing! I was working as an administrator at a physiotherapy clinic. One of the physiotherapists specialized in pelvic floor health and postpartum care for women so she gave me access to products that would make me more comfortable during pregnancy, like the belly band that holds your belly up and puts less pressure on your bladder while supporting your back. I’m not going to lie though, I didn’t really use it. I’ve never been very uncomfortable in pregnancy. My joints and things only ever feel loose and painful in the last couple of weeks of my pregnancies. That was understandable and I knew it would change when I gave birth.
I did go off on maternity leave very early in this pregnancy. Part of it was that I was extremely excited to be off and have a baby, but part of it was that stress and tensions in my work place were increasing and I found myself more and more stressed from work. The Canadian government had also changed their maternity leave pay length. You could now receive the same Employment Insurance pay you would receive from a typical 12 months of maternity leave, but extend the pay to cover 18 months. So you would receive less money per month than if you were to take 12 months off, but the total sum of money was the same. I decided to take the majority of the 18 months off. I also found out I could start my maternity leave within 12 weeks of my due date and I did this. I needed to try to rest and relax as much as possible for Baby #3. I needed to decompress from my work place and prepare our household for another baby. The problem though was that I replaced myself at work with my Mom and that in itself wasn’t the problem. It was that I never escaped the stress of the workplace. My Mom would ask me how to do certain things at work or ask my advice when dealing with certain co-workers or the business partners and I never really was able to decompress from work. It felt like I was still dealing with all the workplace drama!
My last day of work was mid-March in 2019. Jonathan wasn’t due to start school until September of that year so we kept him in daycare until Joshua was finished school for the summer. It was nice having the days to myself for a few months! I was easily able to attend my prenatal appointments without having to find someone to look after Jonathan since my Mom and Josh’s Mom were both working at the time. This also gave me time for research and to get prepared for Baby Amell! I say Baby Amell because I decided that I did not want to find out what gender the baby was. Josh was so not on board for this. He strongly dislikes surprises, but I really thought it would be fun! I also think a little part of me thought that by not finding out, my chances of having a girl were higher! (LOL!)
I did some research on birth and labour! By research, I 100% mean that I watched some birth vlogs. That’s it. I thought this would help me to get through labour. I didn’t physically or mentally prepare for anything. I just watched a few hundred women go through labour and birth. Some received epidurals, some got through it with laughing gas, and some did it unmedicated! So I thought I was ready! I was not prepared to do it unmedicated for this birth, but I was aware of the fact that I may need to get myself through some pain before I was able to have an epidural.
At this point in our family life, we were looking for a bigger house and were actively viewing houses to buy that were a full 2 story or just had more room than our current home. We had purchased a 1.5 story house that had 3 bedrooms which was great, but it was small. Adding a third child to the family made us want more space for the family. Plus, Josh also has this thing with even numbers and so we knew we didn’t want to stop at Baby #3. Now that we are about to have Baby #5, he is potentially rethinking this odd number and even number of children thing….haha! We are also happy to have as many children as we are blessed with.
At my 39 week appointment, I registered a high blood pressure for the first time ever. The attendant took my blood pressure a total of 4 times and they were all high. I figured it was just because my Mother-in-Law was a little late getting to the house to watch Jonathan that day and I was a little stressed because I was running later than I would have liked for my appointment. Plus, I despise paying for the hospital parking. When I am running late though, I will park in the hospital parking and pay because I despise being late more than paying for parking. I had my appointment with my OB and she took my blood pressure at the end of the appointment. It was still high. She asked if I could go to labour and delivery so they could do a non-stress test just to make sure the baby was fine. After being monitored for about an hour, my OB came in and said “well, since you’re 39 weeks and your blood pressure is still high, I would be more comfortable if we induced you.” I have no idea what the results of the non-stress test were, but if my OB was uncomfortable with having me continue with my pregnancy than so was I. So right then and there, she checked me and I was dilated enough for them to insert the Foley balloon inside of me. This would force me to dilate to about 3-4cm overnight. Then I was due to go back at about 8:00 am the next morning, which was June 15, to continue with the induction.
After the balloon was inserted, I rushed over to an appointment I had with Josh and our realtor to view a house. We walked around the house and I was just in love with it! It had the old style of trim from 100+ years ago, it had a beautiful fireplace (which unfortunately did not work), it had an extension on the back for a playroom, it had 4 bedrooms with tall ceilings and it had an attic that could be “completed” to add more rooms to the house. The house backed on to a creek which was a conservation area and one neighbour was a church! It had a nice backyard and just looked like a nice, cozy house! The entire time we were walking around viewing this house, I was getting crazy contractions! I was honestly afraid my water would break in this empty house and then I figured I could just claim it as mine afterwards. We then went from the house to Starbucks with our realtor to put an offer in on this house! Then we went home where I had such intense contractions I debated about going to the hospital that night! We called the labour and delivery ward to ask when we should come in and they gave us the 5-1-1 rule (1 minute long contractions that are 5 minutes apart or less and this had been going on for 1 hour). I wasn’t quite there yet so we decided to wait at home and I ended up falling asleep on the couch just before midnight. The contractions completely stopped that night and we woke up in the morning, got ourselves ready, and headed to the hospital for around 8:00 am to start the induction.
We got to the hospital just after 8:00 am. They hooked me up to an IV. I had dilated enough for the balloon to easily come out and for them to break my water. Then the anesthesiologist came into the room. Since I was still receiving my bag of fluids, it was too early to do the epidural. He came to let me know he had one surgery to complete and then he would be back to do my epidural. Being the planner that I am, I had asked about timing of everything and figured out I should only have to hold off until about 11:00 am. They started the Pitocin not long after I was hooked up to my IV, but I couldn’t give you a time for that.
I am going to interject here to add an important note. Our hospital sends surveys out to families after they give birth to ask about their experience and to rate it. We had let the hospital know about our experiences with Jonathan’s birth and I was quite pleased to see that they had changed their operations on the maternity ward. Before, nurses would take turns making rounds and there was no specific way to track if a certain nurse was the one receiving bad reviews so they could be coached on how to better serve their patients. Now, a nurse was assigned to a patient for their shift. The only time other nurses would enter was to take over for breaks, at shift change where one other nurse would be assigned to a patient, or for a delivery. We had the most amazing nurse for the day Joseph was born! She was a retired nurse that worked once a week on the maternity ward. She was constantly making sure my water was topped up, if I needed help with anything, if I needed help getting to the bathroom, etc.
Now that the Pitocin was kicking in, my contractions were coming hard and fast. The thing with having contractions when your water is broken is that it forces the baby’s head to slam against your cervix. At least your water bag provides a cushion against your cervix and makes it less painful and more of a pressure. The contractions are tough with Pitocin. There is no gradual build up, peak, and release to a contraction and no gradual increase in intensity and frequency. You go from having no contractions to have severely intense contractions in a very small amount of time happening close together. I know I was coping with contractions at 10:00am and was counting down the time to 11:00am, when I should be getting my epidural. Well, 11:00am came and went and so did noon and I still didn’t have my epidural. I was running out of mental toughness, but my nurse was stepping up her game. She was giving me hot compresses and counter pressure on my hips through each contraction. She would rub my back and get me cold cloths for the back of my neck. And at 12:30pm when I started to mentally break down from the intensity of contractions, she actually turned off the Pitocin. I was so grateful for this honestly. My body had actually started to contract on its own, though at a less frequent and less intense rate than before. These contractions I could get through.
There was a complication with the surgery that the anesthesiologist was attending and he was finally finished at 1:00pm. I finally had my epidural and it was kicking in around 1:30pm. As per usual with my epidurals, I flinched when the freezing medication was given, but the epidural didn’t hurt. It made me sleepy within 20 minutes of kicking in. Once it kicked in, my nurse cranked the Pitocin back up and I took a nap. When I woke up, it was pushing time! This epidural was different and so much better than the one I had with Joshua! I could move my legs and feel the pressure of each contraction, but there was no pain. So I knew when I had contractions and when the pressure changed with each contraction. When it was time to push, I knew when to push and how hard I was pushing. Joseph came out in no time and was born just before 3:00 pm. He was a serene baby. Didn’t make too much fuss and loved his snuggles. They left him on my chest for the first hour and my nurse knew I wanted to try breastfeeding with him. I’d never done it with the other two, so she was there to help until shift change. Joseph was okay with breastfeeding, but it wasn’t until he was about 2 weeks old when he fully grasped it. Our hospital doesn’t have a lactation consultant. It’s up to the mother to seek help after discharge if they need help breastfeeding.
Joseph was great after he was born. He pinked up quickly and wanted to eat. He wanted to eat ALL the time and we were anxious because there is no way of measuring how much colostrum/milk they get. Within 24 hours, Josh noticed he was getting yellow. He asked the nurses about it. They took Joseph out to the hallway and it wasn’t just the lighting in the room. He was getting yellow! This broke me. As a mother who is solely responsible for feeding your baby when you’re breastfeeding, I felt like it was my fault this happened. It turns out our blood being incompatible with each other was also a major factor in him developing jaundice along with not breastfeeding completely well within that first day. He was put into an incubator under the blue light to “sun tan” which helps his body’s bilirubin levels to decrease.
Josh also went home to get the breast pump I had from when I was pregnant with Jonathan. I used it a few times after he was born but never stuck to it for too long. This breast pump is amazing though! I have the Medela Freestyle which has actually lasted through 5 children since my best friend borrowed it when she was feeding her babies. They just came out with a new model that looks amazing! Thank goodness we had it though. I was able to pump a ton of milk for Joseph to drink during our hospital stay. I would cycle through breastfeeding and then giving him a bottle of breast milk in his incubator. This way he was still used to latching, but we also knew he was getting milk to help get his digestive system going. Joseph was born on a Saturday and I was discharged on the Monday, but Joseph was not discharged at his point. His bilirubin levels were still above what they should be at the 3 day mark. We were moved to a semi-private room where we could stay with Joseph until he was eventually discharged on the Wednesday after he was born. The levels of bilirubin in a baby are supposed to go down as they have their first poops, but Joseph wasn’t pooping. He was peeing a lot, but not a lot of poops. So his levels of bilirubin were high and above the acceptable levels until the Wednesday. Once we were discharged, we had to go back on the Thursday and Friday to test his levels to make sure they had stayed below the threshold and were acceptable. He was fine after that and there hasn’t been a problem with him pooping since!
I think this extended stay definitely changed our view of the hospital pertaining to giving birth. We used to stay longer so we could get have all of the tests and have someone bring us meals while adapting to life with a newborn and learning our baby’s routine. Since this time we stayed in the hospital for 5 days, we were very much over the hospital experience. Since we had been discharged on the Monday, and we had actually stayed until the Wednesday when Joseph was finally discharged, that meant no food was being brought to us. We either had to go to the cafeteria, go to the grocery store, or get some take out. I am not complaining about this at all! I understand business costs and such. It’s just that it added to the stress of Joseph having jaundice, figuring out a pumping routine to feed him, make sure his needs were met, missing Joshua and Jonathan at home, trying to find time to sleep, and trying to figure out how to feed ourselves. It was a lot! The nurses there were amazing though. I was so emotional over this entire experience because I felt so guilty and they were amazing at giving us the proper information about jaundice and why it may have happened and how we were doing the right things to help him, etc. We also learned that we did not get the house we had put the offer in on. This also made me quite emotional because I loved that house!
I definitely learned a lot with Joseph’s birth. I knew I needed to prepare myself more when it comes time for giving birth because you just never know what to expect. Even though my OB had lined up the anesthesiologist, there can be unforeseen circumstances that come up and can prevent your birth plan from playing out the way you want. I was already aware of this. I just had not prepared myself mentally or physically for birth at all. I still had not taken a birth class or read any books or really educated myself at all, so really I was still just going in as unprepared as I was for Joshua’s birth. That’s okay though, I really enjoyed myself with Joseph’s birth. That retired nurse spoiled the crap out of me and I loved every minute of it!
After we brought Joseph home from the hospital and were getting adjusted to life with three children, I bugged the crap out of our realtor asking whether the house had actually closed or not. I felt like this house was just calling my name. Within 2 weeks of being home, we learned that the other buyer’s had actually backed out of the house sale due to bats being in the attic. If you know me, you know I have had a life long “thing” with bats. Every summer I would go to my Aunt’s farm for a few weeks and every time I was there was the week the bats would get into the house. Those bats terrorized me! They would swoop down in the evenings if I was heading out to the barn, or they would go into my room at night, or they would be in the shower when I would go to take a shower. They literally picked on me! Then to have the irony of being able to put in a second offer on this house because the other buyer’s backed out due to bats was hilarious to me! Spoiler Alert! We did get the house! We moved when Joseph was exactly 3 months old and now I am living in a house that is very close to my dream house! Yes, before we got rid of the bats, one certain bat kept getting into the house, but that ended about the fourth time it came into the house. Each time we were humane about it and let it go outside, but the last time, it accidentally met its match with a pillow and a wall. Anyway, I figured I would not leave you on a cliff hanger with the house. We are in the process of restoring it to its former glory!
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