“She can do it all!”….. “I don’t know how you do it!”…. “You’ve got everything going on.” These are the things that I’ve had said about me or to me lately. I take these comments as a compliment to being able to multitask and organize my time between numerous activities and commitments, but it is most definitely far from the truth. I definitely can’t do it all! And even when I’m “doing it all”, at what cost? For how long? Well, the cost is time for me; time with my family; time with the kids; time to myself; time for the household chores. For how long? Well, that varies greatly. Sometimes I can do a lot for a long time, but the more kids you have, the more planning activities require. Yes, even bath and shower times are strategic around here! Why am I even writing this article? Well, I wanted to share everything on the blog and this is part of our journey.
It’s been almost one month since my last post. I intended for so many things to be completed in that time. And nothing……so far. I am extremely close to finishing my entire curriculum plan for Joshua’s grade 5 year, but I am still not done. I have not worked on any of the Intermediate Series posts for the Financial Series. I have not made any recipe posts for even new recipes for that matter. This past month has been a blur and I feel a little deflated from it. The last few times I have been on social media, the videos that are popping up on my news feed are of these women who have these amazing houses and fantastic vehicles, talking about who knows what because all I can think of is “Wow! They’re doing it all!” or “How the heck do they have time to do all that and get a hair cut?! I can barely keep up with the laundry and household chores.” Then I think, wait, I am that woman to other people……I have women telling me how they don’t know how I can take care of myself, my husband, my 5 kids, our house, homeschool, write a blog, volunteer, etc. This is what inspired me to write this post.
Just because I try to do “all the things”, doesn’t mean I do them well. It doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with it. It doesn’t mean I don’t fail with it. It’s not easy. There’s a trade off, and I struggle with that trade off. A workaholic with a big family who works from home; that’s a little disastrous! Working throughout the day to get things done comes at the cost of not meeting the emotional needs of the kids all the time. Or perhaps handing them a tablet more times than I would like to. My goal right now is to get our homeschool year planned for next year. Ideally, I’d like for this be completed before Josh is off work for the summer and I would like for homeschooling to be as inexpensive as possible. So, I had a good focus face going on and it paid off. I’m in a good enough place with it all now that I’m comfortable continuing it in the evenings only, but there were days that I worked through the day to get ahead of the game, and that came at the cost of “ignoring” the kids. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not proud of it either, and the only way my kids would have suffered from it would be emotionally. All their needs were met and when they hit the point that they needed to go outside, or go for naps, I got off the computer and we went outside. Seriously though, who knew that it would be so hard to get educational information off the internet for free?! I certainly didn’t.
I want to make sure I’m not portraying a know-it-all attitude on this blog. I’m a woman of many skills, but do not master any of them. I enjoy learning and I have great initiative when it comes to teaching myself more about things. So, the information I share on this blog comes from the wisdom of those around me and the internet. And as for the doing it all bit. . . . Thank you for the compliments everyone. I guess I’m good at illusions 🙂 I do a little bit of everything daily or a lot of one thing one day and play catch up the next few. I figure if there’s a few shoes lying around, a bit of dust on the mantle, but my kids are bathed, fed and wearing clean clothes, then I’m winning! My other huge point is that no one is “doing it all” all of the time. “Doing it all” can come at a price and who knows what the support system and resources are of those people.
I also struggle with the blog when I get tired and worn out. “The time and effort I put into the blog could be going to the kids,” I often think to myself, but the time I’m putting into the blog is usually when they’re in bed now. I’ve shifted to doing these things in the evening, so why do I still feel guilty?! Oh the joys of being a Mom in the technology era. We get to compare ourselves to the very best of others on the internet. And I get to feel guilty that I may be a bit more tired one day because I stayed up late working on homeschool curriculum and blog posts and the kids may not get the best version of Mom today. I love writing this blog and truly enjoy sharing what I can with others. This blog is an outlet for me and the only version of therapy and self-care that I can afford right now. If I can save others any amount of time or effort when it comes to cooking or baking or homeschooling or anything I share about; If I can allow one Mom to breathe a sigh of relief knowing that she’s not alone, then this has all been worth it.
I think I’m just here today to say that we’re all Supermoms! Especially in the eyes of our kids! We all are great at so many things and others love certain qualities about us that they struggle with themselves and if we can all share the things we excel in, then we can all help each other. So, lets stop comparing ourselves to the “best” of everyone else because most people only post their best photos and videos. And even if you don’t feel like it now, you are seen, you are loved and you are a supermom!
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